You can also meet singles through their message boards or fun, interactive events, which give you access to folks you might not have naturally connected to. If you want to connect with them after seeing a second video, you’re able to message them and schedule a digital video date. From there, if you’re interested, you can look at a few details about them such as their lifestyle, career, family, and love and relationships. You can meet someone by looking at their profile (or “Vibe”) to learn about three things that the user describes themselves as. Instead, it’s a video-based dating app with interactive activities and videos that force the user to look beyond superficial-based swiping to get to know someone. In fact, it is the only app on this list that is not a swipe-based dating system. It’s specifically not about swipe culture or photoshopped pictures. La Vette is a different kind of dating app. To that end, dating apps can actually be particularly beneficial for people over 40 because they can support and (in some cases) dramatically simplify some of that curation process. It’s about trying new pathways and foregoing the foolish completely carefree abandon one might have had in previous decades. This type of dating is intentional and carefully curated. In that sense, dating in your 40s focuses more on the core qualities of what someone wants in a partner vs. For others, like 46-year-old Liz who found her way onto online dating during the pandemic, it’s about seeking someone that’s interested in her as a person–including an understanding that she has degrees and political values that matter to her. For her, as a single parent, it means making sure that someone wasn’t interested in having more kids but also respects how she has kids. “Dating in the 40s is more about being intentional,” says Tori, 40, who says her choices of partners have changed as she’s gotten older. Getting outside of standard types can be really exciting if you allow yourself that chance. It’s important to be mindful of how aging affects all of us. If one gravitates toward very specific physical traits, you may find yourself swiping away with disappointment. I’ve lived in Los Angeles for a bit, which makes dating here a bit less exciting than when I have dated in other cities where I’ve either lived less time or am traveling in.Īs shallow as it may be, aging also does things to all of us physically that can make it harder to find physically thrilling matches. The truth is, finding folks that spark your interest will feel more difficult than it was in previous decades, especially if you’ve been in the same city for a long time. I also am walking outside of what I might have gone for in my 20s and 30s and examining how certain types that might have sounded appealing are the exact opposite now. ![]() For me, that means that if someone doesn’t have an idea of what they want in their life, a steady and consistent career, or some level of individual independence, I don’t have time for them anymore. It’s adventurous but also down to business. It’s not wasting time with maybes or people who just don’t spark. For anyone else who's here with me in this life stage, ahead is a detailed guide breaking down my experience using dating apps as a single woman in her 40s.įor many people, dating in your 40s is more serious. I would know-I personally tested every major dating app and website on the market (and a few niche ones, too) to find the best dating sites and apps for people over 40. Not every dating app or site is going to work for people who are in this stage of life. Another person brings an addition to our life if we're healthy, as opposed to, 'You fill me up,' or, 'I need you to be OK,'" she tells mbg. "If we've done some inner work, then in the 40s, we have the possibility of having a much healthier relationship. Although I’ve made some mistakes (read: some were major mistakes), I’ve gotten to know what I want and, perhaps more importantly, what I do not want in a relationship.Īccording to licensed therapist Nancy Colier, LCSW, dating in your 40s gives you the unique opportunity to swim in the dating pool as a mature adult with a strong sense of self. Now that I’ve learned how to be comfortable and confident in who I am, I’m not fumbling around in the dark trying to figure myself out while also attempting to find my person. Dating in your 40s is considerably different from dating in your 20s or 30s-or at least it has been for me.
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